Sake and Sumi
by EchoLoco
Summary: A collection of Shunsui and Nanao fics. Varying from friendship to pairing; sweet to humorous to completely random, whatever I feel like writing about those two. Featuring Ukitake in a recurring role.
1. Buttons

**Author's Note: This is the first of hopefully many Shunsui and Nanao drabbles. I love writing these two, but I can never seem to find the time or the inspiration to make enough of a plot for a full chaptered story. So I decided to just write segments as they come to mind. This one is rather long, but I've got a few shorter ones to upload soon. I'd be interested in suggestions for more short drabbles if you like. Constructive criticism, too.  
**

**Also, expect Ukitake to figure into these fairly often. I just love him.**

* * *

Nanao stalked into the office, striding, however, towards the far wall instead of her own desk.

Shunsui was not far behind, following as she wove her way around the office, trying to avoid getting into a corner where he could trap her.

"No!" she shouted, coming to a stop when she noticed her good fortune in getting the sofa between them.

"But Nanao-chan!" her captain whined in an infuriating tone. He started towards one side of the couch and Nanao leaned the other way, forcing him to move back to their stalemate. "Pretty Nanao-chan, _intelligent_ Nanao-chan! Think of how much sense it makes!"

"Sense?!" exclaimed Nanao, forcefully adjusting her glasses out of sheer frustration. "I've always questioned your common sense, but this is really absurd!"

"Is it so absurd to want to help with the paperwork, lovely Nanao-chan?" He drawled out her name, delighted at how annoying he was being.

"How on earth would that help me with my paperwork?" Nanao nearly shrieked, shocked that Kyouraku-taicho was trying to explain his outrageous plan rationally, instead of just accosting her with teasing attempts at kisses and silly pet names like usual.

A playfully lecherous grin spread across Shunsui's face, his grey eyes glittering deviously under the edge of his broad straw hat. "Ah, so my Nanao-chan admits it would be distracting for her?"

"Yes... No! Ugh!" Nanao stuttered. He always managed to trap her with his stupid ambiguous questions. "Well, how is _anyone_ supposed to get anything done in a situation like that?!"

Shunsui leaned over the back of the sofa, reaching for the sleeve of his vice-captain's uniform. She swatted his hand with her fan, beginning to seem more flustered than annoyed. This was a good sign.

"It's easy, Nanao, my flower. You'll sit at your desk and do your paperwork, like always, and I'll sit there not doing much of anything, like always. We'll just both happen to be sitting together."

Nanao narrowed her brilliant blue eyes at her captain. He shuddered. Her glares were like having someone drop an ice cube down your back - alarming and refreshing at once. He loved it. He loved all the ways she made him shudder.

"Frankly, Taicho, if you're going to sit around not doing anything to help, I'd much rather you do it without me in your lap. At least one of us has to get something done around here!"

"It'll be easier to get stuff done! I'll be right there to sign anything your heart desires. I won't be able to get away. I'll just sit there doing your bidding."

"My bidding," Nanao retorted tersely, "is for you to leave me alone and let me get my work done."

"Fine." Shunsui stood up from where he had been draped over the sofa. "I'll leave you alone and let you get your work done. I'll sign or do whatever you need to get it done. I won't harass you, or take drunken naps in the office, heck, I'll go so far as to not get drunk in the first place..."

He paused to let the full effect of his offer dawn on his little lieutenant.

"For one whole month, if you just sit with me for one whole hour."

Nanao growled, kicking the leg of the sofa. She had been in his squad so long that he knew exactly which buttons to push. For an instant, she enjoyed the idea that he knew her so well, and the thought made her give the sofa another solid kick.

Kyouraku knew, for example, that Nanao was certain that her captain's honor wouldn't allow him to break such a promise. He knew that the enticement of a month of peace for an hour of awkwardness was enough to make her consider his ridiculous bargain. And he knew that there was as much of a downside as an upside for him in the bargain, too.

If she took him up on it, he would finally get to hold his darling, shy, fiercely strong vice-captain in his arms. He would get to hold her close to him, but most of all, he would get the chance to not hold her close enough. He would get a chance to keep his hands politely to himself... okay, if he was being honest with himself, maybe gently on her stern shoulders. He would get to prove that he really wanted to hold her instead of just tease her, and not because he wanted to make her his latest conquest.

It was a desperate effort to make her understand. Made more desperate by the fact that if she indeed conceded, he would have to leave her alone for a whole month before renewing his attentions, and he would have to do it sober.

Shunsui watched his lieutenant's eyebrows furrow just a bit less behind her glasses, and her scowl grow just a bit straighter. She was gathering her resolve. He decided to sweeten the deal in case she wasn't resolved in his favor. He played his last desperate gambit.

"Half an hour." Tipping his hat back a little, he looked straight into Nanao's eyes, staring, waiting.

Nanao glared, though not quite at him. His gaze was unsettling. However, looking over his imposing shoulders, she noticed the clock on the wall. It was getting so late, and the day's exercises had left her exhausted...

She turned to face Shunsui, trying not to let her weary resignment look like defeat, or worse, veiled eagerness. She really just wanted to get her work done by some reasonable hour tonight, and every night for the next month. _Really_, she told herself, _it would be absolute torture, but I could endure it for such a rare and tempting offer. Wait - exactly what is it that's tempting about it?_ She decided she'd give her answer before she over-thought the matter and lost a very good opportunity.

Especially since the annual budget request hearings were in two weeks.

Damn, that man knew which buttons to push. He had probably put it on his calendar.

Nanao squared her shoulders and leveled her own intense gaze at her pink-mantled captain.

"Kyouraku-taicho," she warned venomously, "If you break your promise, or if you take undue advantage of this accord, I will dye every floral article of clothing you own pitch black. I will chop down every sakura tree in Seireitei. And I will dilute every single bottle of sake you have stashed in these barracks and in Squad 13's with the most questionable substance Kurotsuchi-taicho will give me."

Nanao also knew just which buttons to push.

Shunsui smiled. It wasn't lecherous or devious this time. It was a little smug, but mostly just joyful. He sauntered over to Nanao's desk, which was still covered in papers at that late hour due to their squad having training exercises in the real world all day.

Sitting down, he spread his arms wide. "C'mon, Nanao-chan, let's do paperwork!"

_If only I could get him to say those words without trading in my dignity._

Nanao grimaced at his enthusiasm and started to approach her desk, cautiously, like a mouse being welcomed into a fox's den. She suddenly regretted the deal, realizing a month of peace and sobriety would mean very little to her, since she planned to commit seppuku exactly thirty minutes from now. The humiliation of giving in to his ridiculous scheme would come back to haunt her when the month was up and he knew he could get to her. And the humiliation of perching on her captain's lap would haunt her a lot sooner.

As soon as she was in range of her desk chair and its occupant, he scooped her up and pulled her close, her shoulder brushing the bare part of his chest exposed by a kimono top that was as lazy as he was. Nanao scooted forward until she was balancing on the edge of his knees and picked up her pen, trying to be dignified in her absurd position.

Despite Kyouraku keeping an arm draped around her shoulder, once Ise-fukutaicho began reading over her paperwork, she shut everything else out and focused. She relaxed her stiffened shoulders as she leaned back and forth to grab new files, sign them, and stamp them. It took her several minutes to notice that her captain had begun rubbing small circles around her shoulder blade with the heel of his hand.

"Taicho..." she said, warningly, while silently cursing herself for letting her guard down and not noticing immediately.

"My Nanao-chan is so tense," he replied, still rubbing her back. "My Nanao-chan works so hard. It's my duty as captain to keep her from being so stressed out."

Nanao could practically hear the man grinning behind her. "Well, if that was your intent, I have to say, I question your methods."

She didn't tell him that this was because as soon as she had realized what he was doing, every muscle in her body had steadily been growing more tense. Of course, this only made her more aware of the aching tightness in her shoulders from bending over stacks of paper, day after day. The gentle firmness of Kyouraku's broad hand felt amazing, and Ise wondered if this is what he had been planning all along. She stoically resisted the urge to arch into the pressure of his hand, but she didn't make him stop, either. She was just glad he was behind her and couldn't see the blush creeping across her cheeks.

The closer the clock approached the thirty minute mark, the less Nanao wanted it to come. However, as soon as it did, she set down her pen and pushed the few remaining papers into her inbox to finish the next morning. Normally, she wouldn't have left them unfinished, but she felt sleep weighing on her eyelids, and she didn't intend to loiter in her captain's lap any longer than necessary.

Kyouraku stood with her, giving her shoulder one last squeeze as she started for the office door.

"Goodnight, lovely Nanao-chan."

"Don't call me that," she called over her shoulder, "for a whole month!"

Shunsui grinned contentedly as his lieutenant hurried from the room. He had wanted to do that ever since the ryoka invaded Seireitei, and Juushirou had come up with that crazy scheme to help them free Rukia. Specifically, he had wanted to do that since Nanao faithfully followed him and his friend, only to be suffocated by the reiatsu of Yama-jii. Since he had scooped her up to take her to safety, and realized that it would be quite a shame if the only time he had ever had her graceful frame in his arms was when she was quaking with fear.

He had been trying to find a way to get her into his arms ever since, if only to prove to himself why he suddenly felt that way about holding her. The teasing had been enough for many years, her protests adding a safe little spark to their professional relationship. But now, he found himself struggling to keep a silly smile on his face when he called her his lovely Nanao-chan, and struggling not to sweep her into his arms whenever she was within reach.

All of his attempts until now had been thwarted by familiar smacks with her fan or her ever-present book. He had finally resorted to this dangerous gamble.

It had been entirely worth it.

* * *

Ukitake leaned back in his chair, happy to be back in his office after spending over a week at his family's estate, recovering from a bout of illness.

Being back was routine, it was purposeful, it was peaceful.

_Wait_, he thought, dropping his feet back to the floor. _Why is it peaceful? _

Usually when he returned from spending time at home, his two Third Seats were eager to greet him, to ask about his health, and to compete over coddling him with tea and handkerchiefs and blankets. His office was quiet this morning, and it caused a sense of dread to creep over him.

_I never thought I'd miss the sound of their yammering,_ he mused, smiling ruefully. Almost as if summoned by his thoughts, a small blonde head peeked around the door frame.

"Ukitake-taicho?" Kiyone asked hesitantly.

Ukitake hadn't seen Kiyone ever act so timid. He nodded for her to come in.

"Taicho, is it true about Kyouraku-taicho and Ise-fukutaicho?" The girl folded her gloved hands in front of her, obviously embarrassed about asking such a question, but of course, obviously curious as well.

Ukitake raised an eyebrow. "Is what true, Kiyone?"

"That they... well, um, they..." the normally candid girl looked uncomfortable. "That they are... in love?"

Ukitake rolled his eyes, sure from the violent flush of his subordinate's face that she had not meant the question exactly as she had finally asked it. What kind of trouble had his best friend gotten himself into this time?

* * *

"You knew!" Nanao hollered the accusation at her captain, who looked rather self-satisfied, reclining lazily on their office sofa with his legs draped over the edge.

"You're adorable when you're angry, Nanao," was all he said in reply.

His lieutenant fumed. "You sneaky...! You knew how it would be! A month of peace indeed! For all the harassment I'm not getting from you, I'm sure getting a lot from just about everyone else!"

Her cheeks flamed red, part embarrassment, but by now, mostly anger. Swinging her hefty book, she knocked Shunsui's feet to the floor with a thud. Tangled in his pink haori, he followed after.

"Ow, Nanao-chan!"

"Ow, Nanao-chan, nothing!" she mocked, watching him struggle to untangle himself from the pile he had fallen in, rubbing his jaw where it had struck the floor. She felt a little bad for him, since it was the first time he had slipped and called her Nanao-chan since making their deal nearly two weeks ago. But she knew he could take the abuse, and frankly, at this point she thought he well deserved it. "Serves you right for sneaking in here anyway! I thought you promised..."

"I promised no more _drunken_ naps in the office, Nanao," he interrupted. "And it's raining outside!"

Nanao clenched her free hand into a fist.

"You weren't even here," he added, from where he was now kneeling by the sofa. He cast big, sad, grey eyes at Ise. His trademark puppy face.

"Get. Out." Nanao ordered, her patience evaporating in the heat of his infuriating glance. She pointed towards the door behind her.

"Who, me?" Ise spun around to the new voice at the door as Shunsui pulled himself up on the sofa to smile at his friend.

"Juushirou's back!" he crowed happily, his argument with Nanao temporarily forgotten. She had let it slide as well, bowing apologetically to the white-haired captain standing in the open door way.

"Not you, Ukitake-taicho, _my_ taicho."

"_My taicho_, Nanao?" Shunsui grinned. "I like the sound of that."

Her renewed glare sent him scuttling towards the door. "Okay, okay. Come on, Shirou-kun."

As soon as they closed the door behind them, Nanao flopped onto the sofa. She was going to need a moment before she could look at a sheet of paper without igniting it, either with a frustrated kidou, or simply her lightning glare.

What had made her think this bargain would be a good idea?

* * *

"I leave you alone for a few days, Shunsui, and look what happens." Ukitake smothered the little grin caused by the scene he had just witnessed.

Usually he was amused by Kyouraku's antics, but the rumors he had heard from his Third Seat, and on the way over to the Eighth Squad, had bothered him. He didn't put much stock in rumors - there had even been some similar ones about himself and Shunsui at one point - but he had noticed his friend acting a little strangely towards his lieutenant since the Aizen incident, and he knew what he stood to lose if he let the faithful bookworm become the next victim of his arbitrary affections.

He adopted a more serious look and turned to Shunsui. "So, what did happen?"

"She knocked me off the couch with that deadly book," Shunsui whined in reply, "It's no wonder she never uses her zanpakutou when she's got a weapon like that."

Ukitake sighed, amused and troubled at his friend's interpretation of the question. He never ceased to be amazed by how Shunsui could inspire both those feelings at once.

"I meant, what happened to make her angry enough that she knocked you off the couch with her meeting minutes?"

Kyouraku grinned, a little sheepishly. "I lost a bet."

Juushirou raised an eyebrow. "Just what kind of bet do you get hit for her winning?"

"Well, I also won the bet, so..."

"You're going to have to explain that one to me."

"Well, it was more of a deal than a bet," Shunsui began. He hesitated, suddenly and surprisingly feeling a little silly about the whole thing.

Hesitating was something Juushirou could only remember the rather forthright man doing very rarely in their long acquiantance, and certainly not in a number of years. He waited for Shunsui to continue his explanation.

"Well, I told her if she'd sit with me for an hour, a half hour really, then I'd leave her alone for a month."

"That sounds simple enough," Ukitate replied cautiously. _It sounds deceptively simple_, he thought_._

"Of course, by sit with me, I meant she sat in my lap, and by leave her alone, I mean I help her with paperwork and I can't drink sake. For two more weeks."

"Wait - she actually agreed to sit in your lap?!" Ukitake exclaimed. He couldn't imagine the straight-laced professional who often helped him in the library ever willingly giving in to her superior officer's incessant teasing; going from slapping him with her fan whenever he so much as talked about touching her, to sitting in such an intimate fashion with him.

"I made her an offer she couldn't refuse," Shunsui reasoned.

"Well, Shun," Juushirou retorted, "I just hope you're prepared to make her an offer _you _can't refuse."


	2. Capture

**Random thoughts about each other, one from each POV. I think we can all agree what Shunsui smells like, but I had to invent for Nanao, and I chose sumi ink because it seemed fitting, and I love the smell of it myself. And yes, I know that you're not supposed to breathe that stuff.**

* * *

She smells like sumi ink and jasmine tea.

I don't know whether the office smells like her presence, or whether it is her that has adopted the scent of her environment. The two are irremovably tied together in my mind; no matter how many others have sat at that desk before her, there have been none so constant and none so intoxicating.

Either way, I find the office to be the pleasantest place in all Seireitei. I couldn't have imagined myself saying so a hundred years ago - even now, Juu would probably laugh his face off if I were to say so.

Curse my luck, I can hardly drink jasmine tea anymore without the scent of freshly-finished paperwork nearby. It's going to drive me to work. And if she catches me doing that which I was previously careful to avoid, she will know that she has captured me forever.

* * *

He smells like sake and sakura petals.

His scent wafts through the hallways when he is near, like the blossoms themselves waft through the windows that he leaves open expressly for that purpose.

As obnoxious as they can be to clean up, I find I welcome the sight of them on the wood floors, because I know that if they come into the office, then so will he.

Of course, it is not just the trees shedding their ornamentation. He somehow smells like sakura all year round, and always also like sake. The scents have become so tied together in my mind that to think of spring is to think of sake. Walking through our courtyard in season is enough to drive me to drink. And if he catches me drinking, I will betray myself and admit that he has captured me forever.


	3. Given

**Don't really know what to say about this one. Hopefully the uncertainty makes it seem a little less OOC.**

* * *

Nanao knew instantly that she had made a tactical error. Instead of taking a good solid swing at her captain with the heavy book, she had merely raised it in front of her face to prevent his approaching lips from making landfall on her own.

A swat with the book might have stung enough to shock him into stopping. It would have forced him to take a step back, at least, and then he wouldn't have managed to bring a strong arm very gently around her waist. Even with the book held between their faces, Nanao felt incredibly too close to Shunsui, and out of the corner of her vision that wasn't blocked, she saw his other hand moving towards the book. He slid it from her hand, from between their faces, and there he was. His eyes were inches from her own.

They were storm-grey; soft and serious. Instead of the ridiculous kissy-face he had worn just moments ago, there was... patience.

His hand was still on her back, but he wasn't drawing her to him. He was waiting for her to come to him.

Nanao couldn't imagine why someone who was constantly trying to steal kisses would give up such an obvious chance, unless...

Unless, perhaps, he had just been goofing around all those times, and faced with the opportunity, he decided he didn't want to kiss her. Nanao felt her stomach sink a little at the thought. She would have to give her stomach a lecture on professionalism later.

The thought of professionalism brought her back to the question of why her captain was keeping her held in such an unprofessional embrace. If he didn't want to steal a kiss, then why was he still holding her?

Unless he didn't want to steal a kiss - he wanted her to offer him one, of her own volition.

Nanao's disciplined mind needed no lectures on professionalism as it suddenly alerted Nanao to all the reasons why kissing her captain was a bad idea.

Nanao's stomach was turning nervous somersaults at the prospect, but Nanao had learned long ago never to trust the gut feelings she got from thinking about or being near Kyouraku-taicho.

Nanao's thoughts and emotions warred, leaving Nanao's body to take over.

She leaned forward, very slightly, and very hesitantly.

Shunsui looked into his lieutenant's eyes as she leaned towards him. Ultramarine blue, they were always expressive if one had the nerve to look past their glass shields. Right now, they were expressing uncertainty.

His Nanao-chan, he knew, only looked uncertain when she was trying to make up her mind about something. It didn't happen often, as Nanao simply applied logic to most situations and stuck to the resulting decision.

And, it didn't last long. Nanao wasn't one to linger on a decision, and Shunsui knew that at any moment the uncertainty would turn either to alarm, or... or some emotion that would be hidden behind closed eyes as she leaned in for a kiss.

He had known Ise Nanao long enough to know that the latter was far less likely. He decided that the simple fact that in her uncertainty, she had inclined herself toward him was close enough to permission. He closed the gap between them, leaning down a little more to press his lips against hers. He noted what might have been alarm in her cobalt eyes for a very brief second before they fluttered closed, her lashes brushing his cheek. Allowing his own eyes to close, he tugged at her waist to bring her close to him. He felt Nanao place her hands on his arms, and for a moment he was terrified that she would push him away.

The kiss seemed to knock Nanao out of whatever impulsive trance had seemed to take over her body as she allowed Shunsui to kiss her and pull her close. Her brain took over quickly, telling her to end it, to push him away. It wasn't proper, he was her superior, he had such a reputation, they were so wrong for each other, people would talk...

Nanao brought her hands flat against Shunsui's shoulders to push herself away from him when her heart, previously in control of her stomach and now apparently in charge of her mouth (and various other features), stopped her.

Despite all the misgivings her brain could list, in her heart, she trusted Shunsui. She wanted Shunsui. Her hands tightened into a grip on her captain's ridiculous pink haori, and she used it to pull herself up a little, closer to Kyouraku's height, deepening the kiss.

In response, Shunsui brought his free hand up to Nanao's face, cradling her neck while he stroked her jaw with his thumb. Nanao gasped at the touch, opening her mouth to him. When he had explored it as much as he could before they both needed air, Nanao rested her head on his shoulder. All she could see was a blur of pink, and it made her chuckle lightly. If she had known his kisses would be like this, she might not have blocked so many of them. Of course, now that he knew her lips were his for the asking, he might not try to steal so many. This thought dismayed Nanao, the pink haori reminding her just how much she enjoyed the flirting and antics and general absurd behavior of her captain.

Shunsui felt Nanao twitch as she chuckled into his shoulder.

"What's so funny, Nanao-chan? I don't kiss weird, do I?"

She looked up at him, eyes shining with affectionate reproach.

"Promise me that even if I kiss you every time you ask, you'll still try to steal one here or there, okay?"

It was Shunsui's turn to chuckle.

"Ah, but how could I resist attempting to steal kisses from my darling Nanao-chan!"

As if to prove his point, his grin formed itself into an exaggerated pucker, and he leaned forward and waited expectantly.

Nanao gave him a light tap with her fan. "You look ridiculous, sir."

"So cruel, Nanao-chan!" he pouted.

Nanao found his pouting face somewhat less ridiculous. In fact, she found it somewhat adorable. She leaned in and kissed him again.


	4. Compare and Contrast

**Author's Note: For the little we see of Nanao and Shunsui, we see even less of Nanao around other shinigami. I suspect she gets along well with Byakuya, and I imagine her being one of few people who can understand what's going on behind that blank face of his (she's very good at masking feeling herself, so she should know). So I wrote this little episode fully intending for them to seem to agree in every way (and for it to be very short), but it got away from me when I factored Shunsui's influence in. Which is, I assume, what it's really like for Nanao. It's set before the Soul Society arc, by the way.  
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* * *

  
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Nanao watched with carefully-tempered chagrin as Kyouraku draped an arm around Matsumoto's shoulders and exclaimed something dramatic about some new bar in the Rukongai.

While Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and tried to inform his lieutenant that she had too much work to do that evening to go bar-hopping, Nanao kept a perfect mask. Her captain's antics were all too familiar to her. They were rather inappropriate for a captain of the Gotei 13, and during a meeting no less. However, Nanao recognized them as the relatively mild amusements of a man too powerful to be anything but bored by the day-to-day bureaucracy which Nanao herself found comforting.

Nanao found the order of the Gotei 13 comforting, and she realized how important it was to most of the shinigami involved. Even if she understood why her captain acted so ridiculously, she was obligated to temper his actions. Honestly, she suspected he acted so outrageously because he knew his lieutenant would keep him from doing anything too drastic.

Turning from where she was finishing a conversation with her friend Hinamori and the girl's pleasant but mysterious captain, Aizen, she noticed Kuchiki standing next to her. He was looking in the direction of the disturbance being caused by Kyouraku and the Tenth Division leaders, and if there had been anything like an expression on his placid face, Nanao suspected it would be annoyance.

"Excuse me, Kuchiki-taichou," Nanao said with a bow as she moved past him, "It seems in my inattentiveness, my captain has abandoned the propriety requisite for such a setting."

"So it would seem," Kuchiki replied calmly. He nodded very slightly to Nanao, and she imagined that if there had been anything like an expression this time, it would have been approval of her comment.

Turning towards the growing disturbance which now featured two white-haired captains, two leaders wearing articles of pink, and a varied crowd of bystanders, Nanao smiled.

She knew why her captain behaved the way he did, and really, she didn't mind most of the time. He was eccentric yes, but so were each of the captains and their lieutenants. Still, it was nice to know that the particular eccentricity of the Sixth Division captain was his stoic professionalism that balanced the Eighth Division captain's flamboyance.

Having someone who felt the same about such things made her feel less like a killjoy for what she was about to do.

"I'm sorry, Rangiku, but I must rescind my captain's offer to visit a new bar this evening. He has quite a bit of paperwork to tend to before the end of the week, and I think it will be Friday at the earliest before he has time for such recreation."

"But Nanao-chan!" Kyouraku protested, throwing his free arm around his lieutenant's own shoulders. "I already promised Ran-chan. I can't jeopardize my honor in breaking such a commitment!"

"I'm glad to hear that you intend to honor your commitments, sir," Nanao declared nonchalantly, removing his arm from her shoulders to hold it in a vice grip. "Of course, you have a long-standing commitment to the Gotei 13 which I expect you will honor just as judiciously."

Kyouraku pouted a little as his own dramatics backfired on him, but brightened quickly.

"I'm so sorry, Ran-chan!" he exclaimed, removing his arm from her shoulders to place it over his heart. "It seems my lovely Nanao-chan is determined to drag me off to do her bidding!"

He winked suggestively and grasped Nanao's hand on his arm. "I'm at your mercy, my adorable fukutaicho!"

Nanao indulged herself in an eye-roll as her own tactics backfired against her this time. It was a never-ending competition between the leaders of the Eighth, and Kyouraku usually ended up winning for sheer lack of shame. He wasn't fighting her as she pulled him out of the meeting hall toward their division offices, but he wasn't exactly allowing her to be professional about it either.

They passed Captain Kuchiki on their way out, and if there had been anything like an expression on his face then, Nanao supposed it would have been resigned irritation at the unprofessional behavior of the Eighth, no matter how effective it was.


	5. Duly Noted

**Author's Note: I'm going to let you know up front, this one is pure silly crack. I got the idea from "Fridge Notes" by luckystar135. I've seen others like it, too, so I hope no one minds me using the idea.**

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* * *

**

Nanao breezed cheerfully towards the office, cup of tea in hand. It had been raining all morning and showed no signs of stopping, which she considered extremely fortunate.

So what if she had to carry an umbrella to deliver paperwork and run other squad errands. It was a small price to pay. She was returning to the office just about the time Shunsui usually wandered in to say good morning (no matter what time of day it was) before running off to sleep on some roof or under some tree. The rain increased her chances of getting him to stay and work by a sizable margin.

Her grin turned into a confused scowl, however, when she pushed open the office door to see her desk covered in heart-shaped slips of pink paper.

* * *

Dearest Nanao-chan,

Aren't these kawaii?!

Hugs and kisses,

Your devoted Shunsui

* * *

Darling Nanao-chan,

Juu said these would help with paperwork. He got you some too - they're on your desk.

I think...

Love!

Your beloved captain

* * *

Adorable Nanao-chan,

Ran-chan said she left some sake for me. Have you seen it?

With all my affection,

Shun-kun

* * *

Sweet Nanao-chan,

Speaking of sake, have a drink with me this evening.

Please?

All my love,

Shunsui

* * *

Wonderful Nanao-chan,

Pretty please?

XOXO,

Your handsome captain

* * *

Lovely Nanao-chan,

No, it's not unprofessional. We'll go after office hours.

Peace and good fortune,

Shunsui

* * *

Pretty Nanao-chan,

We'll go as long after office hours as you like.

;)

Yours forever,

Shunsui

* * *

Charming Nanao-chan,

I hope you're blushing right now. You look so cute when you do that.

Your less-than-secret admirer,

Shunsui

* * *

Marvelous Nanao-chan,

Not blushing yet? Well, I have lots of note paper.

Your willing Shunsui

* * *

Radiant Nanao-chan,

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

There's no one in Seireitei,

That I'd rather do.

Nocturnally yours,

Shunsui

* * *

My flower,

I bet you're blushing now. Gotcha!

Kisses,

Shun

* * *

Brilliant Nanao-chan,

That doesn't mean I'm kidding.

3 3 3

Your Shun-chan

* * *

My beloved Nanao-chan,

I'm running out of ink now. Where do we keep that, again?

Fondest regar

* * *

Enchanting Nanao-chan,

Found it!

It was in your desk drawer with some pressed sakura petals and the love poem I wrote for you last week.

Your worshipful Shunsui

* * *

My clever Nanao-chan,

P.S. If you liked it that much, I can write you more.

Rabu rabu,

Shun

* * *

Endearing Nanao-chan,

Of course, the imagery would be easier if I were better acquainted with your particular assets.

Adoringly,

Shunsui

* * *

My one and only Nanao-chan,

Are you coming in to the office today? It's almost one!

Fondly,

Shun

* * *

Nanao pressed a hand to her forehead as she pulled yet another note off her desk. They were stuck to the writing surface, the stacks of paper, the chair... even to the ink stone!

She was sure Ukitake had the best intentions when he gave Kyouraku the little sticky notes. They were actually quite ingenious - she immediately thought how useful they could be in marking all the places her captain had to sign a form so he wouldn't just scrawl his name and a few flowers wherever he pleased.

However, Kyouraku seemed even more ingenious in finding new ways to misuse office resources, and Nanao was getting exasperated as she pulled hearts inscribed with inane questions and suggestive remarks off her desk. Suddenly, however, she spotted a note that wasn't a pink heart.

Written in a careful hand on a little orange paper fish, she found:

* * *

Dear Nanao-san,

I'm sorry. I gave Shun a pack of post-it notes for you, but he pouted, and I had to give him some as well.

Humblest apologies,

Ukitake-san

* * *

Nanao removed another handful of pink notes before uncovering a little pad of blue paper in the shape of a star. She had to admit, they were rather cute. And convenient too. She had gotten some confusing gifts from Ukitake in the past, but these were perfect. Not only were they useful, but Nanao liked the shape and color as well. She smiled at the thoughtfulness of her captain's best friend, even if his generosity had caused her a little frustration.

She grinned. His generosity had also equipped her to take her revenge.


	6. Duly Noted Part 2

**AN: A sequel to "Duly Noted."**

* * *

Shunsui was having the most fantastic dream. He was training with the busty new shinigami from Division Nine, whose shikai form was, inexplicably, a riding crop. She tapped it against his cheek, then ran it along his jawline. He had expected the leather end of the crop to be smooth, but for some reason it itched. He reached up to push it away.

"Ouch!" Shunsui exclaimed, waking instantly with a stinging finger and his face still itching. There seemed to be a large blur of blue in his field of vision, but he could see that a tiny line of blood was forming on one finger. Carefully pawing for the blue blur with his uninjured hand, he peeled a piece of paper off of his nose, and stuck his bleeding finger in his mouth while he tried to read it.

* * *

Captain Kyouraku,

Your presence is required in the office from the hours of 11am to 3pm today. The quarterly training schedules and transfer applications need to be processed, and must be approved with the captain's seal and submitted before close-of-business.

Sincerely,

Vice-Captain Ise

* * *

Shunsui rose from his bed and headed to his bathroom to see if there was anything that would stop his papercut from stinging and leaving tiny stripes of blood all over everything he touched. His clothes for the day were strewn between the futon and the bathroom, but he dared not pick them up for fear of getting blood on his treasured pink kimono and green obi. The blood wouldn't stain his black shinigami robes, but Shunsui wasn't about to go out in public in anything so dreadfully boring, so he left those as well.

In his bathroom, he found a few bottles of after-shave that had been gifts from former lovers (why they thought to give after-shave to a man who kept a permanent smatter of stubble across his jaw was rather beyond him), an empty sake bottle, an almost-empty sake bottle, and another blue paper stuck to the counter next to his toothbrush, which had been rinsed and carefully lined with a light green paste. He lifted the note to squint at the tiny, perfect penmanship.

* * *

Captain Kyouraku,

In addition to the quarterly paperwork, our division will also be under review today by the First Division Work Environment Squad's sexual harassment officer. Again. In the interests of proving to them that our division promotes professional behavior, I thought it best that you not be able to ignite your 40% ABV belches like you did last time (it took me six hours of paperwork to prevent you getting an official censure and a one-week suspension for that). Please use the provided special toothpaste to prevent this happening again, which would be unpleasant for us both, but I assure you, more so for you.

Sincerely,

Vice-Captain Ise

* * *

Shunsui petulantly crumpled the note and threw it in the sink, intending to spit on it once he had brushed his teeth with the nasty-looking green toothpaste that reminded him of powdered green tea. Taking the still-stinging finger from his mouth so he could brush, it started bleeding again, and he let the blood drip onto Nanao's note as he lifted the toothbrush to his mouth.

It had a surprisingly pleasant flavor, herbal with a hint of jasmine. He worked the toothbrush over his molars and even his tongue, which Ukitake had often told him he should do to combat bad-breath, but he would never take the time for with that disgusting, blue, sparkly paste with the small amorphous animals printed on the tube that his friend bought for him in the Living World. With a final pass over his front teeth to make sure they had a nice, attractive shine, he spit next to the note instead of directly on it, figuring Nanao deserved at least that much for finding him some decent toothpaste. He opened the medicine cabinet to find a bandage and found that she had left him an entire tube of it, which was printed with little white blossoms instead of cartoon critters. Unfortunately, there were no bandages. Maybe his well-prepared lieutenant would have some in her office.

The Eighth Division had a large grandfather clock in the main entrance, which Shunsui had gotten for a pittance during World War II. It was just beginning to chime as he entered the building, and to his consternation, was still chiming when he made it to the end of the corridor where the offices were - he counted ten chimes, total. Usually it only chimed once or twice.

"I think the clock needs repair, Nanao-chan," he announced, pushing open the door to her office.

"It's working just fine," she replied without looking up from the form she was signing. "It's just that the only hours you usually hear it chime fall between one and three in the afternoon."

"Oh. It does that once for every hour then?"

"You didn't know that? You bought the thing," Nanao retorted, looking up. "Oh gods, Captain, where are your clothes?"

Shunsui shrugged, tugging lightly at the light blue boxers with little silver cranes that he was wearing. "I didn't want to get blood on my uniform."

"And why would you get blood on your uniform," she replied, mortified.

"I cut myself on the note that you snuck into my bedroom to press onto me last night," Shunsui panned, holding up his papercut for her to see.

"Oh for heaven's sake, it's nearly healed already. You could have healed it immediately with kidou, of course."

"I still want a bandage," he insisted. "One of the Hello Kitty ones that Hinamori-chan brought."

"You are not wearing a Hello Kitty band-aid to a professionalism review," Nanao declared.

"Well, in that case, I'm not getting dressed for the professionalism review," Shunsui replied easily. He sat on the edge of the sofa, the button fly of his boxers straining precariously.

Nanao yelped and lunged for a cabinet behind her desk. She threw something at Shunsui, and though her toss went wide as she refused to look in his direction, he caught it easily. The bright pink box of bandages had another of her star-shaped sticky notes on it.

* * *

Captain Kyouraku,

Please do not use all of the Hello Kitty band-aids as fashion accessories, or purposely injure yourself to justify their use. Vice-Captain Hinamori brought them for the younger girls on our squad from the Living World, and they are not easy to replace.

There are plain band-aids for other officers in the first-aid kit, and we still have lots of the Pokemon band-aids that Captain Ukitake got on surplus and distributed to the squads a few years ago.

Thank you,

Vice-Captain Ise

* * *

Shunsui grinned at the note and eagerly peeled it off to open the box. He dumped the bandages into his palm and started sorting through them.

After a few moments, Nanao huffed. "Just pick one! You still need to get dressed and get back here in time for the review."

"I want a Monchan one," Shunsui explained, still looking.

Nanao stomped over and took the band-aids from her captain's hand, flipping quickly through them, picking one, and peeling it open.

"Which one is that?" Shunsui tried to ask, but Nanao grabbed his hand and stuck the bandage firmly around his lacerated finger.

"Deery-Lou," Nanao stated. "I gave the last Monchan to Saito-chan at beginner's kidou class last week. Now go put some clothes on."

Shunsui briefly contemplated the adorable deer before nodding his approval and tapping Nanao lightly on the nose with his bandaged finger. "Thanks, Nanao-chan." Standing up, he stepped towards Nanao to take the rest of the bandages from her. Nanao was too proud of her professional composure to increase the six-inch distance between them, and Shunsui knew she was trying to decide whether to be angry or amused. He peeled open a Keroppi bandage, stuck it across Nanao's nose, handed her the box, and left the office.

Nanao sighed.

Shunsui arrived back at the office promptly at 11:07am, and found one of Nanao's notes stuck to the office door.

* * *

Captain Kyouraku,

I am assuming you will be late, and am meeting the harassment officer at the main gate to give her a tour of the "Positive Workplace Initiatives" we have put in place since her last visit. Please review the copy of these initiatives that I left on your desk and wait for us in the office for your formal review.

If you are late or absent, I will sneak back into your room tonight, give you a thousand more paper cuts, and sprinkle them all with lemon juice and salt.

Sincerely,

Vice-Captain Ise

* * *

With a shudder, Shunsui let himself into the office, grabbing the document Nanao had left on his desk and flopping onto the sofa to read it. He found another note on the third page.

* * *

Captain Kyouraku,

Please note that the co-ed restroom on barracks level two has been discovered and permanently converted to a women's restroom, as that floor only has housing for female officers. The sign stating that the co-ed restroom is endorsed by the captain to foster community-building and division morale has been destroyed with extreme prejudice, and will NOT be mentioned at today's review, on pain of ...pain.

Sincerely,

Vice-Captain Ise

* * *

As Shunsui was lamenting the loss of what he considered to be progressive personnel policies such as co-ed restrooms and water conservation week, Nanao returned.

He sat up on the sofa and waved the post-it note from the door. "Nanao-chan, this note you left me about sneaking into my room tonight is a little inappropriate, ne? I'd like you to see me after work today so we can discuss your punishment privately."

Nanao shot him a look that would have made Kenpachi nervous. Shunsui relented, putting a hand to his hat in an apologetic gesture.

"Although," he said, brandishing the papers she had left, "since you've clearly done such a wonderful job of promoting equal, appropriate, and professional behavior within our division, I think we can assume you meant nothing untoward. Now, if you would introduce me to your colleague?"

Nanao introduced Miss Kobayashi of the First Division Sexual Harassment Elimination Task Force, and while the officer was distracted with Shunsui's greetings, Nanao made a cut-throat motion towards Shunsui behind the woman's back. They spoke briefly, Shunsui said some charming and diplomatic things about Nanao's new policies, and Kobayashi-san left. As Nanao turned to escort her to the main gate, Shunsui leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"I still intend to see you privately regarding your punishment tonight."

Nanao couldn't exactly hit him with a book or fan in front of a harassment officer, but she definitely planned on dealing her share of the punishment later.


End file.
